Whenever I reflect upon 2024, my face curves into an involuntary smile. What a year it was! A good beginning, which made an even better ending. Life tasted new. The air was lighter. My gratitude list grew longer than it had before. Graduated with honors. New connections made. Always on the go. Career had set off on a high. Destination birthday trip, taking risks, and living life. And most importantly, my granny finally moved in with her friend God.
Whenever I think about 2024, my face curves into an involuntary smile. What’s not there to smile about? I thought, “Finally. My days of suffering were over, a relic of the past. Life has started. I’m off the strong soldiers’ list.” Every day got better and better. So I assumed every year would only get better and better.
Then came 2025!
This was my best New Year’s. I was on my feet throughout the night till 8 am. I reached home at 10 after breakfast — straight from the bar, kinda Javas breakfast. I slept for a total of 2 hours on the first day of the year. Thinking back to this day, I’m grateful to have enjoyed each second that I spent awake. This year gave me only 3 weeks to breathe and experience normalcy. Then it started falling apart before anything had a chance to build.
I lost my USAID job. Feeling like life had taken a pause, 4months later I was proved even more wrong. I was still going under. One random Monday afternoon in May, my dad had a stroke. A major stroke.
In a split second, everything changed, and life has never been the same again…
Everything ceased to be important. Nothing made sense. On some days, I still don’t think any of this makes sense. Everything, apart from my family, my dad’s health in particular, ceased to be important. Life slowed down, and yet time ticked faster. One day has turned into weeks and months of fear, agony, sleepless nights, anxiety, and on top of all that, hope.
t’s now the second half of the year — seventh month to be specific. And I still hope. Every day, every hour, I hope because without it, I’d not breathe into the next second.
He is out of the danger zone now, my dad. Week by week, we have watched him fight back. Being disconnected from all these machines and tubes one by one. And one by one, we praised. We still have a long way to go, God knows how long, but where He has brought us from was much further.
I think of that Morgan Freeman quote from time to time.
“If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?”
I prayed to bear the fruit of the Spirit, and I thought it would be pretty, like a walk in a rose garden. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.
We have shared moments of true joy, tiny pockets of laughter, and rare bonding moments as a family. I have experienced peace that surpasses human understanding. A season of patience where I slowly push forward, one day at a time. Extending kindness and goodness more often. I have learned to be gentle to myself and hold myself with the same grace that I give out. And lastly, in many ways, my self-control has been and is still being tested.
More days have been for surviving than living. Some days I get angry with God, especially on days when I long to hear my dad’s voice form my name in his mouth, but it simply doesn’t. When one rejection email comes after another and another, and our issues scream louder than God’s whispers.
This has been a “WHAT IN THE LOST SHEEP IS GOING ON HERE?” type of year. I am tempted to say that this is the worst year I have ever lived, but that’s not true at all. Has this year been the most challenging? Yes. But it’s defined for me what a good year truly is like.
Having a great family is such a privilege. I have been reminded of what and who truly matters.
It’s seven months into the year, and the season is starting to change now. Slowly, but ever so surely. The scattered pieces are coming into place, and by faith, I know, I shall wake up and not miss what I took for granted before. I shall be placed on an even higher ground than I was before.
God’s timing is always perfect!